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Wednesday, January 05, 2005


(with a thousand apologies to E ni B)
Greedy old day
eating away
pigging the day away...

Well, the Higher Authorities ( They Who Shall Not Be Named )decided that the time to treat the branch had finally arrived after a cataclysmic year. So everyone got to choose their idea of the organization's most lipsmacking treat/refreshment. The Box of Treasures was passed around.The chic ones had eyes only for FOXS candies, the petite ones wanted eclairs. but the rest rooted for chocolate.

Ever a pleasure to see grown-ups assert their true selves—a delight to see hierarchy taking its rightful place and folks jostle, sledge, swear and sweat to get the lion’s share of the goodies. All terribly unhealthy notions of Genteel behaviour, the arduous lessons learnt at Mom’s knee, that purgatory nonsense about giving better than receiving also carefully get defenestrated and Man in His Element, his Epiphany stands Tall.

Mercifully, one bar that doesn’t sell ( clever pun, that !) was not distributed so all were happy, content, benign—full of Resolutions and Wafer Chocolate. One dastardly soul ( obviously in anguish at the ludicrously short time he’d taken to devour the stuff) looked around the wrapper and informed us that we had just consumed 96 kcal in about 0.1874 seconds. Another tormented being then lugubriously stated that it took him about 12 minutes of non-stop jogging to burn those stated calories. A Pall of Gloom descended on the cheery winter morn. We counted our blessings ( taking care to avoid counting the nourishment ) and got back to work.

As an aside, the tables are somewhat turned during a Presentation ( usually uncalled-for, irrelevant and incomprehensible ). The Speaker does his/her best in endeavouring to enthrall a listless audience that is noticeably ill at ease, shifty and unfocussed.

Now as soon, as the hamper of eats is brought into the hallowed room, the aforementioned Epiphany rears its head. All hell breaks loose, a Commotion and a half later, it is found that what was served to last two hours has been disdainfully polished off in about two minutes. The benumbed audience reluctantly retrains its collective senses on the Original Object of Attention.

Now, a minute’s silence for the Doleful Speaker—He has, as has been said, already lost his audience. To round off matters, owing to the overtly munificent tendencies of his watchers, he has not been able to lay his hands on even one piece of the goodies on offer.

They also serve who stand and deliver presentations…
( But they are not served, So There ! )


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